Public Toilet Sex


Hey guys and girls. Ever had sex in a public toilet. Ever been cottaging or to a tea room ( gay sex in public toilets) ? If you have, I would love to hear about your experiences or experiences of others. I am trying to put together a play on sex in toilets, my first ideas are about gay sex but girls if you have experiences with it let me know. You can post your experiences to this blog anonamously so no worries about me fininding out who you are. I would be also interested in articles about this subject or websites that post listings of public toilets where guys meet for sex. Your help is appreciated.

Chat Room Junkie

Am I a chat room junkie? Can I go a day without them? Of course I can if otherwise occupied but if I am sitting at home not doing much I seem to have this urge to log into them. Perhaps I can start the first chapter of a twelve step program to rid me of these chat rooms? It is nice to talk to someone when you feel alone, but then how real is such a conversation? My case in point, the guy I fell and talked about in a previous posting, for believing his story and then finding out that it was all just a tall tale( I suppose points should be awarded for admiting he lied?), because he was lonely and wanted to chat. But we did actually meet in person, he seems like a nice guy but not sure of his reason for meeting. He says he is happy in his life and with his partner, so what was the point of meeting me? Was he just looking for sex or a quick blow job? Maybe but he didn't get it although I was tempted as he is a very handsome man with a lot of charisma. I could have easily succumbed to the weakness of my flesh but for what purpose? I would be a secret in his life that no one could know about and the sex would be one sided...he would get his jollies by having me service him, ahhh no thanks that is not what sex is about for me. And yet I still have this desire to talk to him, why? Is it because I want to prove something? Perhaps I want to prove to myself that I am attractive to him and he might service me or even just want to hang out with me because I am a nice person. All a bit too wierd really. Probably just two lonely people in the world hoping to feel less lonely by being in each other's presecence in person or via a chat room. Oh the modern world...although we have more ways than ever to stay in touch with people and to communicate we seem to feel more lonely and alone.

Had a call this morning from P. It is always a pleasant day when P calls. His birthday is coming up next month and I'd love to give him something really special, but not sure what that would be. I 'd also love to visit him for his birthday, but perhaps this is a bad idea because he may not really want to see me or I would be disappointed as the basis of our relationship has changed. But I like him very much and value his friendship, if we lived closer I am sure we would be very good friends.

Had an idea for a play the other day....should get off may ass and put some of the ideas to paper, what do I have to lose? A few sheets of paper and a bit of time that I would otherwise waste in chat rooms. I know I am not a great writer but I do think that I come up with interesting ideas and even if I can not make the best presentation of those ideas...perhaps my ideas would or could intrigue someone talented enought to actually polish them and produce them as a play, it would be a wonderful feeling seeing something you created on stage. Well the working title is "The City Cottage", I'll have to see if I can get past the title and put more of my ideas to paper.

Getting frustrated about a job again as my recent good leads seem to have fizzled out. And at the moment there has been a slow down of hiring because of holidays but hopefully September will bring some more opportunities and an actual job!

Of course I was in a chat room yesterday and a guy I had met two months ago said hi. At first I did not know who it was until he reminded me of his name, D. He was a nice guy and we had a good time. When I left I had given him my phone number and email address as I was off to Toronto for three weeks but I never heard from him again. He says he lost my details which seems strange because he is an accountant and judging by his home and words appears to be avery organized person. He also said he thought I had decided to stay in Toronto and that he didn't want a long distance relationship ( Is two hours a long distance, to me no, to him maybe?) . Anyway he said he wanted to see me again so Tuesday we are going to see a movie, The Bourne Identity. He has called me everynight since then and we have had an hour long conversation. It should be an interesting time. He is a really nice guy, good looking and sincere but he seems a bit naive and not so wordly...not that those are bad traits...just don't know if he is really my type, I don't even know what we have in common besides sex, but lets give it a chance and just see what happens, at the very least we may become friends.

While I think that puts me up to date since my last entry. I must become more disciplined and try to do my entries more regularily.

Old Fool

Yep just call me an old fool. The guy I had the long chat with, well it had been going on for quite a few evenings, then he tells me he is in a reltionship and happy. Am I a fool for falling for someone in a chat room? Is it just because I want to find someone I cling on to everything just in case it might work out? Oh well when I re-read my last entry I sounded a bit doubtful about the whole thing and I guess I had reason to be, but I let myself believe something else. Oh well no harm done I guess, it wasn't like it had gone very far, it just seemed like I had connected with someone but the reality is that it wasn't a conncection. Life goes on and someday, somewhere, somehow a nice person will come into my life.

Went to a friends tonight for a barbeque. It was nice just relaxing and sitting around talking. Should do this kind of things more often.

Tonight while I was at my friends, P called. He was in a talkative mood but unfortunately I was only able to say hello and a few words. I still like this guy very much and my feelings for him are still confusing. But he has been a good friend and for that I am thankful. If ever I really wanted to talk I know he would be there to listen or to make me laugh. I hope he calls again soon or I'll call him so we can have a nice long talk about nothing and everything.

My ex S.M. was on MSN Messenger today and said hello, but I am not sure why. I don't tell him much of what is going on in my life as it makes him feel guilty. I don't know why I want to save at least a friendship, but I really like him and he is a nice guy even if he is just as confused as the rest of us. Maybe sometime in the future we will finally be able to have a real conversation.

My friend F.D., sent a note the other day asking why I hadn't been writing much in my Blog lately. I don't really have a reason, perhaps laziness or perhaps I just do not feel the need to write at the moment. For me writing is a type of therapy and I seem to be dealing with things better for the moment. And who really wants to read about me whining?

Chat Room Buddy

Last night I had a 4 1/2 hour on-line conversation with a guy. We have chatted several times over the last few weeks, but the talk last night was unusual. We seemed to get on so well and talked about all kinds of things. His screen name is bornnatural, his real name is M. I have never seen a photo of him but he has seen my photo. Last night we were ready to meet but we live about 20 miles away from each other and he had to get up early for work and was leaving for a long weekend with his family after work. I am also away in Toronto this weekend. We promised to chat on Monday again and arrange a meeting this coming week. But he is playing it very cautious. He has not given me any real personal information such as an email address, phone number etc. While I will gladly provide these, he does not want them yet. Is this guy for real?. I can't imagine someone talking that long as a game, but I guess it could happen. We just seemed to click on so many different levels, it is scaring me. I have been thinking about him since last night and now I am afraid to meet him if it ever happens. I think he is too good for me and he deserves someone better. While he knows a lot about me and I know a lot about him, there are some things in my past I am sure he would not like, but he hasn't asked yet and I don't know his past. It is so easy to be honest with someone in a chat room, of course it is also very easy to be dishonest. I have been honest with him and he seems the most sincere of guys, but I just keep thinking it is too good to be true. I wanted to send him an email today, but I am unable to because I do not have his personal email and to send one through the chat room you have to be a paid member which I am not and will not become. So I guess I will just play the waiting game. He thinks it is fate we were destined to meet...but I am not so sure. I have had great conversations in chat rooms before and after a few weeks you never talk to the person again, what I think of as a great bond is only a temporary thing that the other person does not take seriously. I guess I have learned my lesson and I am being hesitant and sceptical but something inside me wants to beleive it could be real and that we could have a chance. If we do meet and we do click, it would be great. I guess you will have to follow my blog to see if anyting develops!

On the job search, it is becoming more optimistic. An old colleague I used to work with called about an opening at her company. This is great as we get along well and work well together, she is going to try and get her boss to look at my resume. She had also recommended a recruiting firm, to which I posted my resume. I got a response that day about a job in London, Ontario with a firm that is owned by a Belgian Company. That would be a strange twist having moved back to Canada from living in Belgium and then working for a Belgian company! And the third opportunity has been with another recruiting firm that has called three times to see if I am interested in becoming a head hunter and I meet wtih them Monday in Toronto. Even if nothing comes of these opportunities it has helped boost my self esteem. Someone out there thinks highly of me!!!

An update on my brother M. He seems to be doing well the last few days. I don't know if it is his new anti-depressants or the conforontation with me, my Mom and my Dad. I do hope we can get him into a counciling program soon. He needs professional help. Let's keep our fingers crossed.

Fighting Depression

No it's not me but my brother M. A little background, he is my youngest brother, he has MS, he was diagnosed about five years ago, no longer able to work and on a disability pension, married twice, first wife two kids, second wife one child and she left him a year ago because of his depression. Now it has all bottled up and he hasn't gotten any help to deal with all this stuff. His second wife called yesterday to say if he did not pay his child support he could not see his daughter. He flipped, he called my Mom and started crying. She said she would go over to his place , five minutes away. I said I would go with her. We got there and he began crying and had a breakdown. He through all his medications everywhere, then overturned a coffee table and started screaming he would be better dead, he didn't want to live any longer this way and that he was going to kill himself. My Mother and I tried to calm him down but he was working himself into a right state, then he was face to face with my Mom saying he was going to punch her lights out. It was very scarey to see a man become so uncontrollable. He began running around the apartment and went to his bedroom. Mom went into the bedroom and he begin threatening her again. I rushed in and tried to wrestle him to the bed, but despite his claim of weakness because of the disease, his adrenilin rush made him strong, but I was able to restrain him until he gained his composure. Meanwhile Mom is breaking down and wants to call 911 to get help in dealing with him. He calmed down and began to cry uncontrollable. We talked to him for quite a while and we convinced him to come home with us for the night. We took away his car keys and secretly searched his apartment for guns as he was a hunter. It was a long night with lots of crying between him, my Mom and my Dadwho had returned from work. That day he had been to see a phsychiatrist who had prescribed new anti-depressants. He had taken one and by 7PM, he was asleep in a chair, we had to wake him to go to bed. The next day Mom had his daughter for the day and he seem to be calmed by the visit. A lot of work is needed. I can't imagine what he is going through but he needs help. We are trying to get it for him but living in a small town such services are not always easily accessible and because of the health care systems long waits are encountered, not good things for a man in his fragile condition. I hope he can make it through this rough patch, we all want to help him but he often sees our help as a threat and unwelcome. It is not only hard on him but all of his family as well. I hope it will all work out!