PARANOID?


I have several friends listed on MSN messenger or Yahoo messenger, some are really good friends some are mere acquaintances. Why do I panic when I log in and one of my really good friends ignores me? There could be a million reasons why they don’t talk to me…they could be away from their PC but forgotten to change their status. They could be busy playing a game or video and not notice that I have come on-line. They could be chatting with several other people and missed me coming on-line. Yes there could be a lot of reasons why they don’t talk to me but I am still paranoid. I feel they may be ignoring me on purpose and yet I am afraid to say hello because I don’t want to interrupt them…maybe they are thinking the same way? It seems the more the world becomes connected…the more I worry people are purposely ignoring me. I can be reached via email or on-line, real-time messaging, by cell or mobile phone with sms or text capability, by a landline phone, by snail mail or even by airplane.. I can be contacted 24/7! But why should I expect friends to notice me every time I am on-line…if I lived in the same city would I expect to talk to them every day? I guess that would depend on our relationship and how we had defined it. Some people I would want to talk with daily while others perhaps only once a week or even less. And yet I have one really, really good friend that I speak to perhaps once a month and yet somehow we seem to maintain the relationship. Others friends if I don’t speak to them within a week…I seem to miss a large part of their lives. In a global world where everyone seems to have friends or families scattered around the world, it is more important than ever to use good communication techniques to stay in touch and somehow we can easily forget to do this. I value my friends greatly, perhaps because I don’t have a lot of what I consider really good friends and also perhaps because for me it is hard to make good friends, so those I have, I tend to hold onto tightly. I guess this tightness can scare some people and perhaps I scare off others because of my desire to maintain contact. Right now on my messenger list is a very good friend, an ex, a good friend and an acquaintance…and none of them are talking to me…I guess I should initiate the conversation…but I don’t want to bother them…I know, I know, I am just paranoid!


Oppps….I just received an online message from one of my friends….perhaps they were really away from their PC, and they really do want to talk to me!