JEALOUSY

I have let jealousy rule me. I have let my weakness hurt people. I am so insecure that I feel jealous and then I say things I do not mean and I hurt people I do not want to hurt. I am so ashamed of myself that I am now afraid to speak to the person I hurt and offended. Now I am a jealous coward. Perhaps that is why I cannot make friends easily….I let my emotions rule…I let them get out of control…and then I lose. At my age I should have learned this lesson by now. Maybe the people who said things about me that I thought were mean and hurtful were the truth? I must try and change to be a better person the kind of person others will want to know and befriend. But where do I start? I guess I must just try and think about the consequences of what I am about to do and then try to think of the reason I am doing it. But it is hard to remain so calm when the emotions take over. I must try really, really hard. I must be a better person.