GOOD SPIRITS

After a rather uneventful weekend it was nice to start the week with a conversation with PM. He has been very busy the last few weeks and I haven't spoken to him a lot lately but we had a nice but short conversation this morning followed by some words on MSN messenger later this evening. He said it tonight that he is an enigma but then so am I. I can't figure him out so I just accept him, for who he is, a kind, gentle, loving person and a good friend. I wasn't sure we ever would be friends but we are and I hope we remain friends for a very long time. Unfortunately we have gotten to know each other better since living apart. It is a shame because the more I learn about him the more I wish I could spend some time with him, but perhaps if we still lived in the same city our friendship may not have developed as it has. I know he has many friends and many better friends than me but to me he is and always will be very special. I am a better person for knowing him. I do want to see him again, but when and on what terms I will never be sure, but I will enjoy it whatever way it happens. He always brightens a dull day.

I have also become closer to FD since moving away. She is also kind, gentle, loving and supportive. She is probably the most supportive person I know. When we lived in the same city I guess we took each other for granted and did not always make an effort to see each other regularly because you knew you could see them quite easily, but now that we are separated by an ocean we can not see each other as regularly and exchange frequent emails and follow each other's blogs. I miss you but I enjoyed the times we spent together and I do know that we will see each other again.

Tonight I also had a conversation with AH of London. He is another enigma. He was quite attached to me at one time and seems to want to be with me when no one else is in his life. A month ago he wanted me to come visit for Christmas but a few weeks ago he met someone and although not serious has been devoting his time to that person and made plans with that person for Christmas. I never did get mentally close to AH. He always seemed to keep his distance not really connecting mentally. Perhaps we were both afraid to connect on that level? I hope to see him again.

And I must not forget my oldest friend JC. Although we don't talk frequently, when we do it is like we left off from where we were the last time. I really cherish the time I get to spend with her. And I know if I need her support she is there.

I also got a nice long email from PP of London today. He was an ex many, many years ago. He was the first special guy I ever met and will always have a special place in my heart. We don't speak often but we exchange emails every so often and we do make an effort to meet when we are in the same town. He is a very loyal person and that makes him a good friend.

My friends are all enigmas but then so am I. No one has ever figured me out, not even myself so how could anyone else? I do know that since I was seriously ill a few years ago and almost died, I now hold on to friendships more tightly. I make an effort to stay in contact and I am sure for some of my friends it is strange, but friends you are worth the effort! Friends are precious and because I find it very difficult to make friends I tend to hang on to those I have! I get very emotional sometimes when I think of friends, perhaps because I came so close to losing them all once. That is probably why I find it hard to understand how someone I loved could just want to forget about me and yet mentally I understand that is how he or she deal with things, but it can still hurt.

But thank you to those friends who maintain contact; it can sure help me feel good when I sometimes feel a bit down. I also hope that I can help my friends, that I can be there for them, that I can make them feel good on a bad day. I love you all and wish I could make the world smaller so I could see you more often.





This is one of the local church steeples of my small town. The churches were and are a real centre of activity for the community.