THINK ABOUT IT!

I have been in a down mood all week, just due mostly to my personal frustration, hence less entries. Today I met someone for a rendezvous and it did seem to change my mood. Why? Because you feel that someone is interested in you, someone wants to spend time with you. How silly is that? Sure people need to feel wanted, but a quick tryst, why should that make a person feel so much better? Is sex or intimate relations with another person my Prozac? Is this just another sign that my self-esteem is still low? I was talking to a friend today and I was asking if I was bothering them (chatting on MSN Messenger)? They told me to stop apologizing all the time and they are right, I do apologize all the time, I am so insecure I think that I am bothering people. If people didn’t want to talk to me they would let me know, he is absolutely right! I have to think of myself in more positive terms. I am an interesting person and most people seem to enjoy my company and I can't let my own insecurities hold me back. I have to learn to project myself in a positive manner, so others will respect me.

On another note the friend I was really worried about seems to have mended his rift with his friend and is in a much better state of mind. I am glad he and his friend were able to settle their differences. Friendships are important and as one becomes older I think friendships are even more important, especially to single people.

I had coffee with a friend on Saturday and he brought up a point about dealing with significant events in our lives. He was saying that in the animal world when an animal faces a crises or major event they have no choice but to move on with their life, unlike humans who keep thinking or reliving important events and when they are tragic the result is they keep reliving the pain and/or loss. And humans with the more highly developed brains waste time and energy worrying about past events…but I suppose on a positive note it also allows us to relive positive and pleasant memories again and again. The point of the conversation though was that to move forward in life after a major event such as a death or relationship break-up you have to look forward and keep moving forward not back, easier said than done!