PANIC! AGAIN!

I woke up this morning looked at the clock 6:00AM and then PANIC! I don't have a job, will I find a job, why is no one interested in me as an employee? What will I do? What will happen to me? Will I become another homeless person wandering the streets? Can anyone help me or must I do this on my own? Will I ever get my confidence and self-esteem back? Too many questions and no answers. I must just try and not let the negative thoughts take over my mind. Try to remain positive. Sometimes it just feels like no one is in my corner cheering me on and I just feel so alone. Certainly I am not alone physically but mentally I have never been lonelier in my life. Life has to get better doesn't it? If it gets worse will I have the strength to survive? BE POSITIVE! I will find work! I will get my confidence and self esteem back! I will make friends! I will find someone who wants to share their life with me! Yes, it will be good again soon!

I have friends who hire fitness instructors, voice coaches, language coaches, physchriatrists and councilors for personal problems, dietitians for weight problems, should I hire a job coach? Do they exist? Can I afford it? I made the choice to give up a career for love will I pay for that mistake for a the rest of my life? There are employment agencies that are supposed to help you find work but they are expensive and I can't afford their fees and their interest is in collecting fees and not just on finding you a job? Is this struggle my penance?

Calm, calm, calm...it will be OK! It has to be OK!