Messed Up!

Nothing much has happened in the last few days! Just been thinking about my relationship and how I screwed it up. I have had a knot in my stomach for over a year now, will it ever disappear? I had a brief conversation with S.M., the ex, on MSM Messenger yesterday. I thought it would get easier but it hasn't. The problem is I purposely keep the conversation very superficial because I don't want to upset him. I guess that is pretty stupid. He asks how I am and I say OK, he never asks me about the job situatition, I never ask about his personal life. The biggest reason for him dumping me was because he thought I did not want to work and I think he now realizes that there was more to it than that. Finding a job is a difficult process. He has a particular skill and has had the same job for quite a few years, a rarity these days, but I guess civil servant jobs do offer that security. I would really like to be friends with him, he was my best friend but that is over, perhaps now we will only be acquaintances. I make him feel guilty and he has never learned to deal with that emotion. It is what distances him from his family and it will probably soon end our ties. But is he not intelligent enough to know that if he is a sincere and honest person believing he is doing what is best for him without harming others that their is no logically reason for feeling guilt? I guess it is not that simple. I truly believe we could have worked out our problems but that required two people willing to try and that did not happen. Maybe I should just let him be and not contact him anymore...maybe it would be easier for him and me? but I really really like the guy! Whatever happened to the fairy tale endings?