PASSIONS-AMBITIONS

I have never had a passion in life that has been socially acceptable, my passions for food or sex are considered addictions because they don't fit into the notion of normal in society. Addictions are also passions out of control, well might some say my passion for food is out of control because I am over weight or I use it as a means to make me feel better...but it does not control my life and I can survive when on a diet, I don't get suicidal or depressed or emotionally enraged. And the same thing can be said for sex, certainly not addicted to it in the sense that it controls my life and I certainly can go some time without having it...but again it is how it fits in with the norms of society. I could easily blame my parents for my lacks of a passion, for not encouraging my interests as a child, but in all honesty they were children raising children and had more pressing matters like making sure we had a roof over our heads, food in our stomachs and clothes to wear. It is easy to look back and make judgments but realistically my parents did everything they thought they could do. They certainly encouraged my brothers in their passion and love of sports but I suppose they could understand those passions. My interests were always different and something they could not relate to so did not know how to deal with them. But what is stopping me from developing passions in life now? Fear of failure, fear of looking like a newbie to a subject, but in honesty I know people who have a real passion in life love to share their knowledge of their personal passions so that is merely an excuse. Perhaps it is the the thought of appearing ignorant but in all honesty, I am ignorant of many things and am not afraid to admit those of which I am ignorant. Perhaps it is just laziness?

I have many friends with many passions and have been lucky to have those friends share their passions with me. Friends into music, opera, writing, film etc., Perhaps I don't want to develop a passion because I feel I will bore people with it or I may lose their interest if they only wish to follow their own passions. There are so many things in life I would love to learn more about but stop myself from doing it. Why.....as in a famous advertising slogan, "Just Do It". And right now my passion should be to find employment but I consider this my current job..and while a few are lucky to have work as a passion, for me at the moment it isn't my passion. I think I'll try and get tickets to the new opera this week, "The Handmaiden's Tale", by Margaret Atwood, I enjoy modern opera even though I know very little about it. Just got to take a chance and experiment.