THINKING!!

Yesterday I was on a bus to Toronto for two hours. Again too much time to think, wish I could read on the bus but the motion makes me sick. I am trying to be positive about my thoughts these days but it is not always easy. Sunday I just couldn't stop thinking that I don't have a job! I expected it to take at least six months to find a job and quite possibly longer but over a year it is not good. Am I just unqualified for all the jobs, or over-qualified or too old. This out of work things does a real number on your self esteem. I guess when I do find something and I look back, I may be able to see the positive character building aspect of such an ordeal?

When I got into Toronto, I decided to go to a movie. Of course I picked a mushy love story and got a bit teary eyed a few times. Movie wasn't great but it was entertaining...in case you wondering "Wimbledon" was the name of the movie. I seem to be so emotional in my middle years..I don't know why, perhaps because at this age you beg to appreciate the true value of relationships with others more. When you are young it seems easier to have friends that come and go quickly, but I seem to want to hang on to friends more now. Maybe it is not an age issue just me, I do try and make an effort to keep in contact with friends.

Met a guy Sunday night, we had been chatting for a while he is from Chicago but in Toronto on work occasionally. Last night we were finally able to meet. Wow.....talk about a passionate evening, while physically the meeting was A+++ (especially the 3:30AM wake up!!)I don't think mentally we connected a whole lot, possible because being the same age, we realize the problems of long distance relationships and the complications involved. But he is a nice guy and if we meet again it would be terrific.!

While what else will Toronto hold for me this week. It certainly is more adventurous than the small town I call home for the moment.