BEING BAD

Am I bad because I am seeing someone who is involved with someone else? Should I end it now? What can I gain from such a relationship? Is it a one-sided affair? Even if he were single would a relationship work? It feels great to have someone like you and want to spend time with you but at the same time I get angry, as I know I am not part of his life. I can’t meet his friends; I can’t introduce him to my friends. And even if he was single, does he really have time for a relationship. At the present his partner lives in another city from Monday to Friday and is here on weekends. Is their relationship based on love or has it just become convenient? Who would want me as a partner at the present, I don’t have much to offer anyone. Even if he were single, I probably wouldn’t have him, so perhaps I should end it. But I am too insecure to end it...instead I will probably wait until he doesn’t want to see me anymore. I am letting him have all the control. He decides when he has time to see me. I can’t see him when I want, I can’t call him when I want. So what do I get from this relationship? Do I do it just because it feels good to be wanted? That seems like the wrong reason. I should know better. What I really need now is friends...but those seem hard to find. I guess I have to keep looking.