THE AFFAIR

Yes the affair continues. Some friends tell me what a good mood I have been in lately…a result of frequent sex??? While others tell me I should end it before I get hurt! Yes I know I am probably setting myself up for hurt…but I try to take it one day at a time. To love is to hurt…not that I am in love...but every relationship I have ever had, has had a sad ending. So what is so different this time..that it will be a shorter affair…then therefore the hurt should be not as painful? Is it just our Christian-Judaic attitudes that make affairs so unacceptable? I have had them before…will I never learn? But for the moment, can’t I enjoy that great feeling being with someone who wants to be with you if even for only a few hours a day and with whom you want to be with equally as much. Perhaps affairs cater to our societies attitude for quick solutions…our desire to satisfy our urges…both primal and not so primal. We did discuss the situation yesterday evening. And to be honest I don’t even know if we could have a real relationship…at the moment we are on different paths…but for a little while we find ourselves in this situation which seems to solve both our immediate needs. I suppose I may become jealous of not being able to be with him more often...but in all honesty he doesn’t want a lover 24/7…he is focusing on his career at the moment...as I am in my search for employment. Is there a right answer...am I really a horrible person for having an affair? One friend says it would be OK the other partner knows…and while I understand the logic...at least this way he is spared it being,
” in his face.” And yes I am meeting him tonight on Valentine’s Day but isn’t this what the day is about…romance? Am I fooling myself?