GET A GRIP!

Yesterday...was a really bad day emotionally. I left work frustrated and down. I just wanted to chuck it all in. Yes I should be happy I have a job, even though I knew I wouldn't love this job. And even though the pay is terrible, only yesterday did I realize what it is about the job that really bothers me. In this job you only get negative feedback, you only hear about what goes wrong or what you did wrong. No one tells you when you do a great job or things go well. I guess because this department works with so many other departments and we have rules about deadlines etc., no one perceives us as doing good but only stopping them from doing what they want and consequently we only get negative feedback. This is crushing my spirtit. I already feel bad enough about myself. My life has been one big failure. I've messed up great relationships. I've screwed up several careers and here I am with nothing. I have a pokey little studio flat. I have a very low paying job. I have not made any new friends. I can't even afford the computer I want so that I can keep in contact with friends on the other side of the ocean. I can't even afford to take someone I fancy on a date! I am one big loser. I've realized I won't make new friends or even have a chance at finding a partner because I don't like myself so how can I expect anyone else to like me! In my eyes, I have failed at it all. And what do I have to show for my time on earth....nothing. I hope the struggle gets easier, but some days, it is hard to even want to fight.