So where did I leave off? Oh yes S.M. had come to visit me in London, Ontario Canada. We had a super week together and I fell in love! We wrote letters (Yes only 12 years ago email was not so common!) and phoned each other frequently. We soon planned another meeting...and the long distance affair began. We managed to see each other about every 6 to 8 weeks. Sometimes we would meet in other places such as Miami, New York or San Fanciso, but S.M. came to London, Canada quite oftenas he had more vacation time. Of course I visited Brussels as well. After a few years of this we decided it would be better to live together. I applied to school in BXL as a means of getting into the country. I studied for an MBA in BXL over two years and by the time the course was finished it was possible for S.M. to sponsor me as his partner.

But I had difficulty finding work because I only spoke English and then I got very sick..so sick they thought I might not make it but I did and that was another whole year gone. I had a few jobs but only six month stints. I guess S.M. was really frustrated at me for not finding work but I did not realize how much as he tended to keep his feelings to himself. Sometime over our relationship he had bought an apartment in BXL and a small flat in London. We used to travel often and visitied London often as we had a flat where we could stay. Because I wasn't working I usually went to London a few days earlier and stayed a few days later(Someone had to clean, take care of odd jobs and stock the fidge!)...I spent about a week a month in London. S.M. thought I was enjoying his money at his expense. But I really did want to work...I was just lost about how to go about it and every time I asked for his help (Because of language issues involved in looking for work.) he got so frustrated and went on about how busy he was...I got frustrated as well. Well, anyway I met this guy in London, UK and we hooked-up about six times in six months. He was a nice guy and he paid attention to me. He wouldn't have sex all the time and sometimes we just met for a drink or dinner. This guy S.B. eventually found a boyfriend in London, UK. But we still exchanged emails and text messages and phone calls.

In the past S.M. and I had created an email address to stay in contact with friends and family while traveling, we both shared the password. While as email became more common I took over this account but never changed the password. You guessed it... S.M. started reading my emails but because he was afraid I would try to log on...never seemed to read whole emails and extracted from them what he wanted. Any way he used to read messages from S.B. who being Latin and very friendly always addressed his letters as "hello darling!" This caused S.M. to suspect me and S.B. of having an affair, but it was long over by the time he found out. He confronted me about it via text messages while I was with a visiting Canadian friend in Amsterdam for a few days. He called me back to BXL. We had a long discussion and agreed to work on things. But I had a trip scheduled back to Canada for holidays with my family. He asked me to postpone it but because my mother had planned a big family get together, I said no. What a fool I was!

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